When I look back on my spiritual journey now, I realize something that deeply touches my heart:
Before I ever started seeking God, He was already seeking me first.
At that time, I thought I was simply living a normal life. I did not realize that little by little, God was already drawing me closer to Him through different people, situations, convictions, and encounters. Looking back now, I can clearly see that none of those moments were accidents. God was already moving in my life even when I was still spiritually blind.
Before, I knew about God because I grew up in a religious environment. My family background was Catholic, and ever since I was young, I already knew that God existed. But now I understand there is a big difference between knowing about God and truly having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
At that time, I was spiritually blind without fully realizing it.
Sometimes I attended church physically, but my heart was not truly connected to God yet. I read Bible verses before, but I did not deeply understand His Word. I knew religion, but I did not yet know Jesus personally.
But despite my spiritual blindness, God never gave up on me.
Little by little, He started reaching out to me.
The Beginning of God Drawing Me
One of the biggest turning points in my life happened during the season when I was supposed to focus on studying for my nursing board exam. But instead of studying, something suddenly drew my attention to the Bible.
I opened it and began reading Matthew 24—the chapter about the signs of the last days, deception, suffering, and the return of Jesus Christ.
MATTHEW 24:4-44 (NLT)
4 Jesus told them, “Don’t let anyone mislead you, 5 for many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah.’ They will deceive many.6 And you will hear of wars and threats of wars, but don’t panic. Yes, these things must take place, but the end won’t follow immediately.7 Nation will go to war against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world.8 But all this is only the first of the birth pains, with more to come.
9 “Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because you are my followers. 10 And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. 11 And many false prophets will appear and will deceive many people. 12 Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. 13 But the one who endures to the end will be saved. 14 And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come.
15 “The day is coming when you will see what Daniel the prophet spoke about—the sacrilegious object that causes desecration standing in the Holy Place.” (Reader, pay attention!) 16 “Then those in Judea must flee to the hills. 17 A person out on the deck of a roof must not go down into the house to pack. 18 A person out in the field must not return even to get a coat. 19 How terrible it will be for pregnant women and for nursing mothers in those days.20 And pray that your flight will not be in winter or on the Sabbath. 21 For there will be greater anguish than at any time since the world began. And it will never be so great again. 22 In fact, unless that time of calamity is shortened, not a single person will survive. But it will be shortened for the sake of God’s chosen ones.
23 “Then if anyone tells you, ‘Look, here is the Messiah,’ or ‘There he is,’ don’t believe it. 24 For false messiahs and false prophets will rise up and perform great signs and wonders so as to deceive, if possible, even God’s chosen ones.25 See, I have warned you about this ahead of time.
26 “So if someone tells you, ‘Look, the Messiah is out in the desert,’ don’t bother to go and look. Or, ‘Look, he is hiding here,’ don’t believe it!27 For as the lightning flashes in the east and shines to the west, so it will be when the Son of Man comes. 28 Just as the gathering of vultures shows there is a carcass nearby, so these signs indicate that the end is near.
29 “Immediately after the anguish of those days, the sun will be darkened, the moon will give no light, the stars will fall from the sky, and the powers in the heavens will be shaken.
30 And then at last, the sign that the Son of Man is coming will appear in the heavens, and there will be deep mourning among all the peoples of the earth. And they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. 31 And he will send out his angels with the mighty blast of a trumpet, and they will gather his chosen ones from all over the world—from the farthest ends of the earth and heaven.
32 “Now learn a lesson from the fig tree. When its branches bud and its leaves begin to sprout, you know that summer is near. 33 In the same way, when you see all these things, you can know his return is very near, right at the door.34 I tell you the truth, this generation will not pass from the scene until all these things take place. 35 Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear.
36 “However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.
37 “When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah’s day. 38 In those days before the flood, the people were enjoying banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat. 39 People didn’t realize what was going to happen until the flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of Man comes.
40 “Two men will be working together in the field; one will be taken, the other left. 41 Two women will be grinding flour at the mill; one will be taken, the other left.
42 “So you, too, must keep watch! For you don’t know what day your Lord is coming.43 Understand this: If a homeowner knew exactly when a burglar was coming, he would keep watch and not permit his house to be broken into. 44 You also must be ready all the time, for the Son of Man will come when least expected.
As I continued reading, my heart felt deeply stirred. The words I read did not feel ordinary to me anymore. It felt as though God was opening my eyes to understand that everything happening in the world today had already been written in His Word long ago.
At that moment, I realized that Jesus was not only warning about future events, but also calling people to repent, stay faithful, and be spiritually awake in these last days.
That moment became one of the beginnings of God drawing me closer to Him.
While reading those verses, something inside me changed.
Fear entered my heart—not the kind of fear that pushes people away from God, but the kind that awakens the soul and makes a person realize their need for Him. I could not control my tears while reading. Deep inside, I suddenly desired to know God more personally.
At that time, I still did not fully understand what was happening to me spiritually. I only knew that something inside my heart was slowly changing.
Now I understand:
God was already calling me.
That is why this verse became very meaningful to me:
JOHN 6:44 (NLT)
For no one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them to me, and at the last day I will raise them up.
This verse reveals something powerful:
Before we come to Jesus, the Father first draws us to Him.
Sometimes people think they found God by themselves, but many times it is actually God who begins placing conviction, hunger, questions, desires, and spiritual awareness inside the heart little by little.
God uses many things to draw people:
• His Word,
• circumstances,
• conviction,
• pain,
• other people,
• testimonies,
• prayers,
• even unexpected moments.
God Was Already Planting Seeds
In my own journey, God used Christian friends to slowly lead me closer to Him. Before I fully encountered Jesus, my friend and I would sometimes send random Bible verses to each other through chat messages. At that time, I did not yet read the Bible deeply from my heart. I only copied verses without fully understanding their spiritual meaning.
But even through those small moments, God was already planting seeds without me realizing it.
Learning About a Relationship With God
Later on, God used that same Christian friend to invite me to church. Eventually, she also asked me a question that deeply stayed in my mind:
“How is your relationship with God?”
At that time, I could not even fully understand what she meant by the word “relationship.” In my mind before, relationships were only between people—like couples, boyfriends, girlfriends, family, or friends. I did not yet understand that God desired a real and personal relationship with us.
Now I realize that many people today are the same way.
Many people know religion, tradition, or church attendance—but they still do not truly know Jesus personally.
There is a difference between:
• knowing about God,
and
• truly walking with God.
Religion alone cannot transform the human heart.
Only Jesus can.
Conviction of the Holy Spirit
As my spiritual journey continued, God slowly started revealing Himself more deeply to me.
I remember attending church services physically before, but my heart and mind were still disconnected. But there came a moment during one church service when the pastor preached something that pierced deeply into my soul and spirit. I suddenly felt convicted about my sins. I became so ashamed that I wanted to hide under my chair.
At that moment, I still did not fully understand what conviction meant. I only knew that something powerful was touching my heart deeply.
Now I understand:
That was the Holy Spirit convicting me.
JOHN 16:8 (NLT)
And when he comes, he will convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment.
God Opened My Spiritual Eyes
The more I responded to God, the more my spiritual understanding slowly opened.
Eventually, I accepted Jesus Christ wholeheartedly as my Lord and Savior. That became the beginning of a deeper transformation in my life.
When I truly surrendered my heart to Jesus, my relationship with God slowly started growing little by little. My desires started changing. My understanding started changing. My heart started changing.
Later on, I began experiencing things spiritually that I could never understand before.
There were moments when I felt the powerful presence of God deeply. There were moments when God slowly began speaking to my heart through His Word. Sometimes while reading the Bible, verses suddenly became alive and personal to me. It felt as though God Himself was teaching, guiding, correcting, comforting, and revealing things to me little by little.
Before, I could read the Bible without understanding it deeply. But after the Holy Spirit began working in my life, my spiritual eyes slowly started opening.
That is why this verse became so real to me:
JOHN 14:26 (NLT)
But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.
The Holy Spirit is not only about emotions or spiritual experiences.
The Holy Spirit:
• teaches us,
• guides us,
• convicts us,
• comforts us,
• transforms us,
• and helps us understand God spiritually.
Without the Holy Spirit, many people remain spiritually blind even while attending church or knowing religious practices.
That is why many people do not recognize when God is already calling them.
Sometimes God speaks quietly through conviction.
Sometimes through His Word.
Sometimes through suffering.
Sometimes through encounters.
Sometimes through other people.
Sometimes through a deep longing within the heart that cannot be explained naturally.
But spiritually blind people often cannot recognize His voice yet.
Only when the Holy Spirit begins opening our spiritual eyes do we slowly start understanding spiritual things more deeply.
That is why the Bible says:
1 CORINTHIANS 2:14 (NLT)
But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means.
Before, many spiritual things did not make sense to me either. But when my relationship with God started growing, the Holy Spirit slowly began revealing and teaching me things spiritually that I could never fully understand before.
God Began Working in Me
Looking back now, I truly see the love, mercy, patience, and grace of God throughout my entire journey.
He used people to guide me.
He used His Word to awaken me.
He used conviction to draw me closer.
He used the Holy Spirit to transform me.
And through all of that, my relationship with Jesus slowly began to grow.
This journey reminded me that Christianity is not simply about religion, tradition, or outward appearance. True Christianity is about having a real relationship with Jesus Christ through the work of the Holy Spirit.
God is still calling people today.
Sometimes quietly.
Sometimes through pain.
Sometimes through His Word.
Sometimes through other people.
Sometimes through conviction inside the heart.
But many people do not recognize it yet because spiritual understanding only comes when the Holy Spirit opens our eyes.
That is why we should never ignore God’s voice whenever He is calling us closer to Him.
Because sometimes what feels like an ordinary moment may actually be the beginning of God transforming our entire life.
All glory belongs to God alone. Hallelujah!
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