Introduction
Looking back on my journey, I can clearly see that God was working in my life long before I truly knew Him.
There were many moments that seemed ordinary at the time—childhood experiences, unanswered questions, seasons of loneliness, and unexpected encounters with people. Yet when I look back now, I can see that God was using each of those moments to draw me closer to Him.
For many years, I did not truly know God. I was surrounded by religious practices, but I had not yet experienced a personal relationship with Him. Still, God never stopped pursuing me. He planted questions in my heart, guided my steps, and patiently led me toward the truth.
This is the story of how God answered my deepest questions, revealed who Jesus truly is, and showed me that He had been calling me long before I ever realized it.
Part 1: A Childhood Memory
I remember when I was in elementary school.
Every evening, my grandmother would ask me to read prayers dedicated to a particular saint while she prayed the rosary. Since she was already elderly, she would ask me to do the reading for her.
This was part of her daily routine. The prayers would be repeated over and over again until all the beads had been completed.
At that time, however, my mind was focused on something else. There was a television series that I faithfully watched every weekday, and I did not want to miss it.
Because I was eager to watch the show, I would read the prayers as quickly as possible so I could finish early and watch my favorite series.
Part 2: Questions I Could Not Answer
After graduating with a nursing degree, I returned to my hometown.
At that time, I had not yet encountered God.
One day, while I was at home, a question suddenly entered my mind about Jesus, Mary, and God.
I found myself wondering:
“If Jesus is the Son of Mary, then why have I heard people say that He is the Lord who created heaven and earth?”
Then another question followed:
“If Jesus created heaven and earth, then during the time of Mary, did heaven and earth not already exist?”
To be honest, those questions left me confused.
In other words, I became deeply curious and wanted to know the answer. I kept thinking about those questions over and over again.
Eventually, I could not keep it to myself any longer, so I asked my mother.
However, she could not answer my questions because she did not know the answer either.
That only made me even more curious, especially because I am the kind of person who cannot rest until I know the exact answer to something.
So the questions remained in my mind.
Part 3: My First Encounter With God’s Word
By the time I encountered God, I had already forgotten about those questions.
My first encounter with God happened while I was preparing for my Nursing Board Examination.
Instead of studying, I noticed a Bible near me. I picked it up, opened it, and began reading.
The passage I read was Matthew 24, which speaks about the signs of Jesus’ return and the events that will take place in the world.
As I read those words, I began to cry.
I felt afraid because of what I was reading, and it stirred within me a desire to draw closer to God.
That was the first time I truly repented after reading God’s Word and felt a desire to follow Him.
Even before reading that passage, whenever I prayed at night, I would often say:
“Lord, I want to follow You. Please guide me in Your path.”
Later, I met a Christian friend who gave me a Bible.
I share the full story of that experience in another article titled:
“How Can We Hear the Voice of God?”
Part 4: Accepting Jesus Christ as My Lord and Savior
I began reading the Bible that my friend had given me during a season when I was no longer working.
At that time, I was also experiencing loneliness and had grown dissatisfied with my job.
As I read that Bible, tears streamed down my face. I found myself crying continuously while reading God’s Word.
Alongside the biblical text were devotional notes and teachings. One of them explained how to accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
By faith, I followed what was written there.
I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart as the Lord and Savior of my life, and I repented of my sins.
Every time I repented, I would cry.
At that time, my understanding was simply that a person needed to believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and repent of their sins.
That was all I understood.
I did not yet realize that there was a much deeper understanding beyond that.
I was still spiritually blind, so I knew very little about the Kingdom of God.
Because I had been reading the Bible and seeking God, a desire began to grow in my heart to attend church.
Eventually, I found myself attending a church where I did not know a single person.
I simply showed up.
It was in that church that I encountered God in a powerful way.
Yet at the time, I did not realize that it was God who had touched me.
As I mentioned earlier, I was still spiritually blind.
Part 5: The Wilderness Season That Drew Me Closer to God
Several months after that powerful encounter with God, I found myself reading that same Bible again during a season when I was heartbroken.
At that time, I felt an emptiness and loneliness deep within me. I felt as though I had no one else to turn to except God.
I remember asking myself:
“Why does no one stay with me?”
“Why does no one genuinely commit to me or take me seriously, even though I sincerely try to do what is right?”
Deep within my heart, I was searching for someone with a pure heart—someone who would always be there for me and truly understand me.
But no matter where I looked, I could not find even one person like that.
As a result, I felt empty, broken, lonely, and heartbroken.
During that season, I poured out everything I was feeling before God.
I brought my pain, disappointments, questions, and brokenness to Him.
Looking back now, I can see that God allowed me to walk through that wilderness season for a reason.
He allowed me to experience that emptiness so that I would have no one else to turn to except Him.
He used that season to draw me closer to Himself and help me come to know Him more deeply.
Through that experience, God taught me something I had never fully understood before:
Only God can truly satisfy the human soul.
No person can completely fulfill the deepest needs of our hearts.
Only God can.
He was the One who loved me deeply.
He was the One who truly knew me.
He was the One who was always there for me.
He was the One who could fulfill the deepest desires of my heart.
He was the One who gave me peace.
He was the One who gave me joy.
In short, He became everything to me.
Years later, when I came to understand the meaning of God’s words, “I AM WHO I AM,” I was deeply moved.
Exodus 3:14 (NLT)
God replied to Moses, “I am who i am. Say this to the people of Israel: I am has sent me to you.”
Because I realized that everything my heart had been searching for could ultimately be found in Him.
The love, peace, acceptance, understanding, and fulfillment that I longed for were found in God alone.
At the time, I could only see the pain.
But looking back now, I can see that God was using that wilderness season to draw me closer to Himself and teach me that only He can truly satisfy the soul.
Part 6: How God Answered My Questions About Jesus
Later on, a man unexpectedly came into my life who is now my husband.
One of the things that amazed me about him was how often he talked about God.
I had met many men before, but he was the first person I had encountered who consistently spoke about God.
Because of that, I became curious about the things he shared, especially his knowledge of the Bible.
Through our conversations, a deeper curiosity began to grow within me. I wanted to know more about God for myself.
As a result, I started reading the Bible that my friend had given me once again.
What he shared inspired me to seek God more deeply and pursue answers for myself.
That was when I began reading the Bible from cover to cover.
As I continued reading Scripture every day—a habit that began after meeting the man who is now my husband—the unanswered questions that had entered my mind years earlier were finally answered.
One day, while reading the Bible, I came across a verse that immediately reminded me of the questions I once had about Jesus, Mary, and God.
I was amazed.
The verse was:
John 8:58 (NLT)
Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, before Abraham was even born, I am!”
At that moment, the curiosity I had carried for years was finally satisfied.
I came to understand that Jesus already existed long before He was born through Mary.
That was when I began to understand that Jesus is God.
After all, Abraham lived long before Mary, yet Jesus declared that He existed before Abraham.
I was also reminded of the words God spoke to Moses:
Exodus 3:14 (NLT)
God replied to Moses, “I am who i am. Say this to the people of Israel: I am has sent me to you.”
Through God’s Word, I came to understand that the One who declared, “I AM WHO I AM” is Jesus Christ Himself and that Jesus is God.
To help us understand this more clearly, here are some of the “I AM” statements of Jesus:
1. I Am the Bread of Life
John 6:35 (NLT)
Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.
2. I Am the Light of the World
John 8:12 (NLT)
Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”
3. I Am the Door (or Gate)
John 10:9 (NLT)
Yes, I am the gate. Those who come in through me will be saved. They will come and go freely and will find good pastures.
4. I Am the Good Shepherd
John 10:11 (NLT)
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep.
John 10:14 (NLT)
“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me,
5. I Am the Resurrection and the Life
John 11:25 (NLT)
Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying.
6. I Am the Way, the Truth, and the Life
John 14:6 (NLT)
Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.
7. I Am the True Vine
John 15:1 (NLT)
“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener.
John 15:5 (NLT)
“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.
8. I Am the Alpha and the Omega
Revelation 1:8 (NLT)
“I am the Alpha and the Omega—the beginning and the end,” says the Lord God. “I am the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come—the Almighty One.”
Revelation 21:6 (NLT)
And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life.
When I realized these truths, I was deeply moved.
I could not help but think about how God had known me long before I was ever born into this world.
Whenever I look back and see the patterns throughout my life, I am overwhelmed by how real and active God has been in my journey.
Even from the time I was exposed to a religious environment as a child, God was already at work.
He allowed those experiences to be part of my life so that one day I would remember them and realize that I had not truly met Him through those religious practices.
Through that realization, He helped me understand the difference between having a relationship with God and simply following religious traditions.
As my relationship with God continued to grow, I also came to understand that the questions about Jesus, Mary, and God that suddenly entered my mind years earlier were not an accident.
God Himself had placed those questions in my heart so that I would seek Him.
Looking back on my journey, I can see how God was leading me through a process that would eventually bring me into a relationship with Him.
And through that relationship, He answered my questions about Him and many other things as well.
He also answered the prayer I had prayed years earlier when I asked Him to guide me in His path.
God used my friends and eventually my husband to help me come to know Him.
When I think about the depth of God’s love for me, I cannot help but be moved to tears.
Part 7: What God Taught Me About “I AM WHO I AM” and Mary
As I continued growing in my relationship with God, I began to understand something that deeply touched my heart.
God allowed me to go through that wilderness season of emptiness, loneliness, brokenness, and heartbreak so that I would have no one else to turn to except Him.
He allowed me to experience those things so that I would draw near to Him and come to know Him personally.
Through that season, God taught me that only He can truly satisfy the human soul.
He loved me deeply.
He knew me completely.
He was always there for me.
He was the One who could fulfill the deepest desires of my heart.
He gave me peace.
He gave me joy.
In short, He became everything to me.
That is why the words, “I AM WHO I AM,” became so meaningful to me.
Because I realized that everything my heart had been searching for could ultimately be found in Him.
Everything I longed for—love, peace, acceptance, understanding, joy, and fulfillment—was found in God alone.
He truly is everything.
God Also Answered My Question About Mary
God also answered another question I once had: Who is Mary?
As I continued reading Scripture, God led me to these passages:
Luke 1:28–38 (NLT)
28 Gabriel appeared to her and said, “Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you!”
29 Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. 30 “Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God! 31 You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus.32 He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. 33 And he will reign over Israel forever; his Kingdom will never end!”
34 Mary asked the angel, “But how can this happen? I am a virgin.”
35 The angel replied, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God.36 What’s more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age! People used to say she was barren, but she has conceived a son and is now in her sixth month. 37 For the word of God will never fail.”
38 Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And then the angel left her.
Luke 1:46–55 (NLT)
46 Mary responded,
“Oh, how my soul praises the Lord.
47 How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!
48 For he took notice of his lowly servant girl, and from now on all generations will call me blessed.
49 For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me.
50 He shows mercy from generation to generation to all who fear him.
51 His mighty arm has done tremendous things! He has scattered the proud and haughty ones.
52 He has brought down princes from their thrones and exalted the humble.
53 He has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away with empty hands.
54 He has helped his servant Israel and remembered to be merciful.
55 For he made this promise to our ancestors, to Abraham and his children forever.”
From these verses, I came to understand that Mary was highly favored, chosen, and blessed by God.
She was chosen because of God’s grace, her humble heart, and her willingness to accept and follow God’s calling for her life.
She was also a servant of God.
Because of this, I believe that we should not worship Mary, bow down to her, or pray to her.
Mary deserves respect because God chose her to be the mother of Jesus.
However, being chosen by God does not mean that she is the one we are to worship.
Our worship belongs to God alone.
As I reflected on Mary’s life, I also realized that we too can be called favored, chosen, and blessed when we belong to God.
When we accept Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of our lives, respond to God’s calling, and choose to follow His commands, we become servants of God just as Mary was.
God looks at the condition of our hearts.
He looks for hearts that are humble, willing to listen, willing to obey, and willing to follow Him.
He is not looking for perfection because He knows that we are sinners.
Instead, He is looking for hearts that are fully surrendered to Him.
He looks for hearts that acknowledge their need for His forgiveness.
He looks for hearts that are willing to listen to His voice, receive correction, and allow Him to transform them.
The verses that helped me understand this were:
Isaiah 66:2 (NLT)
My hands have made both heaven and earth; they and everything in them are mine. I, the Lord, have spoken! “I will bless those who have humble and contrite hearts, who tremble at my word.
Isaiah 57:15 (NLT)
The high and lofty one who lives in eternity, the Holy One, says this: “I live in the high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble. I restore the crushed spirit of the humble and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts.
Part 8: God Was Calling Me All Along
As I look back on my story, I can clearly see that it was through my relationship with God that I truly came to know Him.
He was the One who answered my questions.
He was the One who revealed the truth to me through His Word.
And He was the One who helped me understand that He had been calling me long before I ever realized it.
Looking back now, I can see that God was working throughout every season of my life.
Even during my childhood, when I was exposed to religious practices, God was already allowing certain experiences to take place for a reason.
Years later, He used those experiences to help me understand the difference between religion and a personal relationship with Him.
As my relationship with God grew, I also came to understand that the questions about Jesus, Mary, and God that suddenly entered my mind years earlier were not random.
At the time, I thought they had simply appeared in my mind without any reason.
But now I realize that God Himself had placed those questions in my heart so that I would seek Him and search for the truth.
Looking back on my journey, I can also see how God led me through a process that eventually brought me into a relationship with Him.
And through that relationship, He answered my questions—not only about Him but about many other things as well.
I can also see that God answered the prayer I had prayed years earlier when I asked Him to guide me in His path.
He used the people He placed in my life to draw me closer to Him.
He used my friends.
He used my husband.
And He used His Word to reveal Himself to me.
When I think about all the ways God worked in my life, I cannot help but be moved to tears.
His love overwhelms me.
Even before I was born into this world, He already knew me.
Even before I knew Him, He was already pursuing me.
Even before I understood His plans, He was already guiding my steps.
That realization touches my heart deeply because it reminds me of how great God’s love truly is.
This journey also taught me what faith really means.
There was a time when I did not understand many things.
There was a time when I could not see what God was doing in my life.
Yet even before I understood everything, I believed that He was my God.
That is why these verses became so meaningful to me:
Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)
Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.
2 Corinthians 5:7 (NLT)
For we live by believing and not by seeing.
I encountered God because I responded to His voice.
And through that response, I entered into a relationship with Him.
God has been calling you as well.
Many times, God reaches out to us, yet we fail to notice because we are not paying attention to His voice.
God speaks in many different ways.
Sometimes He uses thoughts that lead us to remember Him and seek Him.
Sometimes He uses situations in our lives.
Sometimes He uses other people.
Sometimes He uses the things we see around us.
And many times, He speaks through His Word.
Looking back on my own story, I realize that God used all of these things to draw me closer to Him.
Nothing was wasted.
Everything that happens in our lives—whether good or difficult—can have meaning and purpose for the glory of God.
Through those experiences, we come to understand that God alone can satisfy the deepest longings of our hearts.
He is the source of the joy, love, peace, and fulfillment that we are searching for.
He is the One who answers the questions of our lives.
And many times, God uses our circumstances to bring us to a place where we call upon Him and draw near to Him.
Whatever season you may be facing right now, be thankful to God.
He may be using that very situation to draw you closer to Himself, help you come to know Him, and lead you into a deeper relationship with Him.
Because it is through that relationship that we begin to understand who God is, why we are here, and the purpose He has for our lives.
Final Reflection
As I look back on my journey, I am amazed by how faithful God has been.
What once seemed like ordinary events were actually part of God’s plan to draw me closer to Him. From my childhood experiences, to the questions He placed in my heart, to the people He used along the way, I can now see His hand at work throughout every season of my life.
God did not reveal everything to me all at once.
Instead, He led me step by step, teaching me to seek Him, trust Him, and build a relationship with Him.
Through His Word, He answered the questions that no one else could answer.
Through difficult seasons, He showed me that He alone could satisfy the deepest needs of my heart.
He used my questions to lead me to the truth.
He used my loneliness to draw me closer to Him.
He used the people He placed in my life to help me grow in my faith.
And through every step of the journey, He was patiently revealing who He is.
This journey also taught me what faith truly means.
Before I understood everything, before I saw how God’s plans would unfold, I chose to believe and follow Him.
Looking back now, I can see that every step of faith brought me closer to the One who had been calling me all along.
If there is one thing I have learned, it is this:
God often speaks to us in ways we do not immediately recognize.
He may use questions, circumstances, people, hardships, or His Word to draw us closer to Him.
Many times, He is reaching out to us long before we realize it.
Today, I know that the greatest blessing is not simply having answers about God—it is having a relationship with Him.
Through that relationship, I discovered who Jesus truly is, why He was calling me, and the purpose He has for my life.
When I look back on my story, I can clearly see that God was calling me long before I knew Him.
And when I finally responded, I discovered that He had been there all along.
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